MourningSorrowfulMother

first summer thunder emerging memory of  beauty in a dream 

 So I just saved a draft of chapter one of my novel on here, (and various places). My sense is it isn't "working" adequately for a novel and yet I have worked hard on it over the last couple of weeks, fitting in time here and there and getting crabby with people because my actual life, emotionally, doesn't matter to me so much in comparison to it so I don't like to have my mind taken away from it. However, I did my best and I'm happy with the beautiful bits of it I've expressed. I have to remind myself I haven't ever written a novel before, so how can I just write one that quickly works, that at all works, that is good? . Well, it's not strictly true I haven't ever written a novel before as I tried to write one in my twenties, but, I wasn't happy with my efforts then and soon gave up so to all intents and purposes this is the only novel I've ever taken on as work. The novel's story,  it's characters, are absolutely familiar to m...

I am writing a different chapter one of Goldilocks lately. I'm tuning into explaining the main character's life so far in basics now. And thinking how often does another member of an extended family make it up to a person when they were, (and are) unwanted by their mother and so, abused and neglected? Probably not much these days as they're so much in foster care or children's homes. Like has happened to very much loved relative children of mine. The State can't stand people having families; we're just supposed to be working drones with children in nursery, in school from three, in institutions from birth soon probably; in breakfast clubs, after school clubs, holiday clubs. Never for my home educated child. 

                                        sunbeam fills the head                      of reading angel statue                      me, mystical book Yes it's not difficult to decipher. But it's writing. It's a haiku. So I wrote today.  I couldn't quite capture in the photo how the clear angel head was illuminated as I looked at it from my bed, where I was reading. I had to get closer to get a clear photo and it here looks like light is only on the face. I've not got photo editing tools. I'm  financially deplete after all I spent on my lost-to-earth baby and my failed attempts to conceive another one after her, so I haven't got a lot of apps on my basic smart phone. Never mind. Here is the book I was reading. I've long loved Lilla Bek.

There's your life, and who you seem to be because of it; and, then there's your mind and heart, because of your life, and what you seem to be because of it ...

I haven't really found time to write my novel in about the last couple of weeks, a few brief notes apart, and that's probably because I just can't see the chapter I really felt I ought to get together - after all this time of over a year - Chapter One - going easy towards a completion. The draft has too much information at first and not only that, but a certain paragraph I'd paused at just had so much information to put into it that it was off the track and confusing, I eventually decided today. So, just now I thought I will restart the whole novel, apart from the preludes I wrote, and I will stick the information I've been pausing at thinking that's going on too long, it's going off track, and it goes into confusion and it is too rich for so early, right at the start, and, hopefully, that will explain things better. This means that I'm officially editing my whole novel. My whole novel, although the whole draft has many gaps. When I first started the nov...

this riverside scene like one in "Misty" comic so unreal, so real  Mostly a lot of years ago, I used to write haiku.  Today this one came to my mind.